12.09.2009

we feel fine book giveaway!

ok real quick cuz i gots to go make dinner -

the folks at we feel fine were kind enough to bestow on me a second free copy of the "we feel fine: an almanac of human emotion" book so that i might do a giveaway for all the rest of y'alls - and giveaway time is here! my second copy came in the mail today. whut whut!!!

SO! here's the rules:

1) i got in the book after the folks at we feel fine found a lovely blog post i had written featuring my middle finger. so to enter the contest, leave a comment here telling us something middle-finger related. it could be about the time you accidentally flipped off your aunt mildred, it could be about the time you did it on purpose. but in celebration of my middle finger picture, your comment MUST share something about middle fingers! maybe you know of a cool piece of middle finger art on the internets? share it and automatically be entered to win!

2) comment as many times as you wish, but one entry per person will be counted.

3) contest closes at midnight on sunday, december 13, at which point i'll use the website random.org to pick the winner!

the winner gets a free hardbound copy of "we feel fine: an almanac of human emotion", and if you like i'll autograph my middle finger on page 82 for ya!

get commenting people, i can't wait to read your middle finger stories!

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11.18.2009

beware the white t-shirt ambush!!!

so last week, josh got new white t-shirts. and he wasn't quite sure what to do with the old ones yet, like did he want to save em as rags or whatever, so he made a little pile of them on the bedroom floor.

they stayed there for a few days, and then i asked him about it - he mentioned "yeah, i'm not sure what i'm doing with that yet." and i can't tell you what the starting point was, but shortly thereafter we were in a huge snowball-fight style tshirt throwing frenzy! TSHIRTS EVERYWHERE!!!

since then, it's become a source of comedy and careful planning. on sunday, as i was leaving for patchwork at 7:45am and saying goodbye to josh, he snuggled down deeper under the covers and gloated a little about how nice and warm it was in bed.

and he got a faceful of shirts! he told me later "you know, i didn't do anything with those shirts when you left, they just stayed piled around my face cuz it made bed that much cozier."

curses, foiled again!

a favorite ambush is hiding around a corner with an armful of white tshirts, waiting for the other person to walk through the door - WHITE TSHIRTS!!!

last night, josh was getting his new work phone set up and i took his concentration as a golden opportunity for shenanigans:

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this morning i woke up to being covered up, coroner style, in white tshirts.

i love my life.

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3.02.2009

what does it mean?!?!?

ok i very recently saw a dude who had a large circular/ovally tattoo on the back of his upper arm (can't remember if it was left or right arm). let's start a new feature on the hearts and laserbeams blog, where we the experts deduce what the hell that tattoo means!

1) he's a huge fan of oprah, and more specifically the oprah book club, so much so that he felt the need to commemorate his newfound love of literature. i'm guessing his favorite read was Black and Blue by Anna Quindlen, cuz lord knows i wanted to beat him up!

2) he could also be a current or past fan of using his vaccuum cleaner to give himself fake hickeys.

3) it's a zero, standing for how many other people should get this same tattoo. or standing for how many compliments he has gotten on this tattoo. or standing for how many minutes he spent deciding on whether a circle tatto was a good idea.

4) maybe he likes cheerios? or spaghetti-os?

zing!

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1.25.2009

25 things you absolutely have to know about me or else you may die...

ok so i've been tagged to do this a bunch of times on facebook and am juuuuuust now getting to it! let's all meet your friendly neighborhood steph!

1) i just had a cup of coffee, that is pretty important. it was delicious and i want another one. it had some of that flavored creamer in it, i believe it was "spiced vanilla rum" by international delights. and i agree, that shit was a delight!

2) i've always been a very casual swearer, i have no idea why. like this has been going on since grade school.

3) i was gonna put this first but coffee and swearing is more important - i started going blind in my left eye back in 2000, and finished going more blind by about 2002. it started with central serous retinopathy that happened twice in different parts of my left eye, and then all kinds of other wacky shit that snowballed from the scar tissue from the laser treatments. it was a really scary time in my life because they weren't really sure what the eff was going on with some of it, and i was tested for all kinds of things from syphillis to brain tumors. the start of it was unclear but most likely stress-related, and the end of it was a pretty large blind spot in my left eye. i still have peripheral vision in that eye so wearing an eye patch is unfortunately not an option because i can still sort of see outta that eye, which leads me to:

4) i heart pirates and eye patches!

5) i also LOVE trashy tv, some favorites include: bold and the beautiful, americas next top hobag, wifeswap, boston public, 90210, the bachelor, clean house, uhhhhh whut else did i forget OH YES also real housewives of atlanta is freaking awesome.

6) i should've met my huzzzz josh like years before i actually did, because he'd been friends with my sis michelle for ages beforehand!

7) i've had braces for almost 2 weeks!

8) i've been self employed for aaaaallllmost a year and it's the best and i am so grateful for it. commuting and corporate environments are not necessarily the best fits for me

9) i met my bestest buddy jenn when i moved to wisconsin to work at oshkosh bgosh, and once we got in trouble for work for being too loud and jovial about having gone to work dressed as pirates. (see number 4)

10) my favoritest movies ever include the life aquatic and zoolander. and i saw pulp fiction 6 times in the theater when it came out. i also hated no country for old men.

11) i learned to knit in the winter 2003 because i was bored as hell in wisconsin, but have continued with it and love it! i've picked up a little crocheting here and there but knitting is definitely my yarny weapon of choice

12) when i was like 3 or 4 i danced with my dance class in a HORRENDOUS ruffley pink costume at dodger staduim during the 7th inning stretch. if my photo albums weren't packed up in storage i would totally show you that crap!

13) i miss savannah georgia like crazy and cannot wait to move back there someday soon.

14) i can't handle eating kraft macaroni and cheese without having apple sauce on the same plate - it just seems sick and wrong.

15) i like to shoot a lot!!! i'd never been around guns and stuff before meeting my rad husband josh, and have picked up a lot since we got together, and totally like shooting! everybody freeze!!!

16) i have an idea for a book that's been rolling around in my head for years and i think it could be really cool but i have yet to write it or even start it. i just know that someone like cameron diaz would be perfect for the lead should they ever take my unwritten book and make it into a movie.

17) i almost joined the oc rollergirls about a year ago, but the distance to practice coupled with the money involved made it not really an option for me... i am still entertaining thoughts of skating as scary poppins, because the savannah roller derby team practices about 15 minutes from where we'll live and is only $25 a month as opposed to the $65 the oc league charges.

scary poppins totally isn't my first choice in names; i really want helen killer but there's already someone skating under that name and there can be only one. it's like highlander with shorter skirts and more asskicking.

18) i went through a phase in high school where i was REALLY into the band queen. to the point where i think at last count i had like 13 cds of theirs...

19) i heart karaoke like no ones business, because i am a huge fan of making an ass of myself in public.

20) i buzzed my head twice in college - twice because i didn't learn the first time around. as a girl, when you buzz your head it looks awesome at first, but then because all of your hair is the exact same length as it grows in it's very puffball and stupid looking!

21) don hertzfeldt is my animation hero. except for his newer experimental stuff... i remember watching "the meaning of life" and going uh... what happened to this dude?

22) 2 of the worst jobs i've ever had: working at mr. wok at the oglethorpe mall handing out samples and scoopin chinese food (and cleaning their bathrooms which perpetually had pee EVERYWHERE), and cleaning houses. cleaning houses SUCKS.

23) i caused a ruckus in 8th grade when my class went to the white house - i had one of those combs that looked like a switchblade in my purse and when it went through the xray scanner, security went apeshit and searched the next bag that came out of the scanner and found nothing. because they weren't looking in my bag. aka i got to keep my comb. aka AWESOME.

24) an email i wrote got read live on good day wisconsin once - i wrote in to pete petoniak's weather whys feature saying "please explain the phenonemon of raining men and predict when it will happen again". and they did a whole feature on it about how it rained frogs somewhere once and how presumably that means it could quite possibly rain men someday. and they played the it's raining men song a lot, and had an awesome animation of raining frogs and i have that shit on vhs in storage and i wish i could put it on youtube for you. PURE COMEDY GOLD!

25) i stole a fire hydrant once and it sat in my living room for about a year before my friend brian gruhn helped me lug it outta there because all the plans i had for making it into a table or a lamp or something never happened.

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12.07.2008

why i heart the wii

ok if you have your wii hooked up to wireless internet it is awesome; they have a channel where you can download miis that other people have made. and all your miis, they show up in the various games in the wii fit, and just now i watched josh catching hula hoops thrown by hitler. and just now, he went on a "long distance run" and was waving to michael jackson as he ran through the park.

we've also downloaded chuck norris, britney spears from when she went crazy and shaved her head, and zoidberg from futurama.

and that's enough to keep me working out, the end! i give me and josh the golden robot award for being awesome!!!

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5.16.2007

making cupcakes...

it's amazing how much quicker and easier it is to crochet cupcakes when you actually know how crocheting works... i'm workin on bustin' out a bunch of the tasty treats for SoCoBazaar on june 2 and they're so much more fun to make now because they don't take 8 hours and they all look pretty decent! deeeeelicious!

in other very important news, josh bought this computer game called the ship this last weekend and it's awesome. it's set in the 1940s on a ship that could arguably be called a rip off of the queen mary, and you're basically sent around to kill various passengers on the boat. josh just shot through a window to kill the captain of the ship. how's the thing gonna drive now that's what i say. also, my favorite part is you get dollars depending on the awesomeness of the weapon you use to kill someone, and they put mannequin arm near the top of the list. we have yet to see a mannequin arm, but when we do... gods be praised!

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